Here’s what you’ve definitely all been waiting for – the second installment of The Cauliflower Chronicles: my attempt to conquer my most-hated vegetable by any means necessary.

After the popularity of my cauliflower rice recipe last time, I was bombarded with suggestions. Which was awesome! We were all geared up to make a cauliflower crust pizza this week when tragedy struck and our oven door spontaneously exploded. Fortunately I was already out of the room (eating, obviously), but it smashed to smithereens and has yet to be replaced.

Luckily, just a few hours before it decided to break itself (and my heart), I had whipped up a batch of tots! But not tater tots…. cauliflower tots. Mmm. I cannot confirm whether or not these will make your oven explode too. The glass didn’t actually crack until about 2 hours after cooking but I don’t want to be held responsible for any glass-related mishaps you may encounter. Really.

Actually I cheated a tiny bit and made cauliflower and broccoli tots. I couldn’t think of a way to reduce the cauliflower-ness of these without just adding a load of cheese. And after ranting on about eating on the healthier side of things, I didn’t think that would be the greatest approach. Although I did use a little bit of light cream cheese.  Apologies, as ever, for my freestyle approach to measurements…

Cauliflower and broccoli tots

cauliflower broccoli tots recipe


300g of cauliflower and broccoli florets (small)

1 tablespoon light cream cheese

2 eggs, beaten

100 grams (apprx) dry polenta (or rice flour)

50 grams breadcrumbs

1 tablespoon chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

1 teaspoon paprika

salt and pepper

olive oil


cauliflower tater tots recipe

1 – Heat the oven to 180 degrees. See? It’s not even a crazy enough temperature to test it to any sort of exploding limit. Honestly.

2 – Steam the vegetables for about 5 minutes. They don’t need to be mushy for mashing but they do need to be cooked. Drain well.

3 – Chop up the steamed veggies in a fine meal. Or, like me, get bored before you hit the “fine meal” stage and decide that a choppier texture would be more ‘rustic’. Continue to kid self.

broccoli cauliflower tots recipe4 – In a large mixing bowl, add the beaten eggs, cheese and seasoning and mix to combine.

5 – Add the polenta a few tablespoons at a time, stirring until a stickier mixture forms. Not entirely dough-like, but stiffer. Repeat with the breadcrumbs.

6 – Lightly oil and line a baking tray and dollop a spoonful of mixture at a time. I used the spoon to create the shape I wanted just by gently nudging the mixture straight off after lightly shaping and compressing it on the spoon with my hands.

broccoli cauliflower tater tots

7 – Bake at 180 for about 12-15 minutes, or until the tots start to look golden brown.

baked cauliflower totscauliflower and broccoli totsServe as a side or a snack! Great dipped in barbecue sauce or ketchup. And best eaten fresh and hot, otherwise they do tend to turn a little bit rubbery. And almost certainly not for saving in your pockets for later, Napoleon.